Background
Good friends tell you that you have something stuck in your teeth. At Nourish, giving and receiving candid feedback is one of our Values. This allows us to grow as individuals and live up to our standard of Individual Habits & Expectations. This includes positive feedback — sometimes it can be as helpful to reinforce a job well done.
If we don’t create a feedback culture, individuals won’t improve and therefore our company won’t improve. It is relatively easy to get on board with the fact that it is positive to give and receive feedback.
I’d argue a world-class feedback culture takes it a step further — it is a negative not to give and receive feedback. If you see something that can be improved in the company, and you choose not to give the requisite feedback that you know would improve Nourish, then you are doing a disservice to our patients and providers as well as your teammates. This includes avoiding giving feedback to someone who is above you in the org chart. You are choosing to make the company worse because you want to avoid an awkward conversation or you just don’t care enough. It is the same if you are resistant to feedback that you know is fair and true — you are choosing to make Nourish worse because you are being stubborn or prideful.
Being excellent means constantly improving.
How To Receive Feedback
You should go out of your way to solicit feedback. If you do not proactively collect feedback, you are not trying hard enough to improve. Here is how to receive feedback:
- Ask for it: Make sure others know that giving you negative feedback will be cherished. It is important to explicitly say this to them, preferably in a one-on-one setting.
- “What would you seek to improve if you were me?”
- “What feedback are you afraid to give because you think it might hurt my feelings? Please tell me that.”
- Acknowledge it. Confirm that you heard it correctly by saying **“**I think I heard you say …” Summarize what they said. Then say “Is that right?” If they yes, you are done. If they say no, ask them to say it again until you are able to summarize it correctly.
- This creates trust and connection. People want to feel heard. And they can only know that you heard them if you actually say back their words to them.
- Appreciate it. Don’t interrupt. Don’t give excuses. Your job is to listen and try your utmost to understand. Say “thank you” for the precious gift that you are receiving. Only once you understand the issue, and you’ve repeated it back to them, and they know that you’ve understood their issues, can you initiate a conversation about potential solutions.
- Accept it (or not). Declare whether or not you accept it. If you do, then...
- Act on it. Co-create an action item that will effectively address the feedback. Put a due date on it. Do it. And then let the feedback-giver know that you did the action. When you do, you will have completed the feedback loop. And the feedback-giver will then have gained trust that you actually want feedback and are committed to improving. Only then will your team members feel confident that their voices are heard, and safe enough to give you further feedback.
How to Give Feedback
Guide to Effective Feedback.pdf
- Ask for permission. Give the receiver a little heads-up of what’s coming. It can be enough to say “I have something to communicate to you, is now a good time?”
- State the trigger behavior or event (fact). Try to be factual (“When you are late to meetings…”) as opposed to interpretative (“When you disrespect me...”).
- State how that trigger behavior makes you feel in terms of anger, sadness, and fear (feeling). This is perhaps the hardest part for many people to do. Talking about your feelings might not be something you are used to, so it might be challenging at first. However, doing so is crucial for the other person to truly understand where you are coming from and to take your feedback to heart.
- State the thoughts, opinions and judgements you have around this situation.
- Make a request of what you would like to see. Try to frame it as positive action (“do x”) rather than a negative (“don’t do y”).
- Ask if the person accepts the feedback and the request. If yes, hold them accountable to doing it.